Twisting, Turning, Yearning

You know, as a Waiter.  I know, I’m punny.

A world of flashing lights, moving strobes of energy, exists within our consciousness.  The energy took hold and threw me into the past, made me relive a life that didn’t happen.  I lost myself in the lights.  I found myself in the darkness.  Now it is time to rebuild. 

Start makin money again.

Hope reminded me of the term.

Let us travel to the peaks of this world, and let us poke our heads over the endless cliffs. Because they are terrified to leave home, or leave what only mattered as a child, we will see what remains a mystery to others. Because we went the distance, we rode the gray hound further than any friend of mine, we lived a lifetime in two years, and we shared a lifetime of tears. And I know that forever is a long time my dear, but not as long as some may think, as we lived forever in less than a week. We lived together for 100 forevers, so don’t tell yourself it is over and done. I’ll live on in your memories, and in mine you will too. Through my mind you will run, and through yours I will too. But we must move on and find other friends. I loved you from the beginning and will till the end. The relationship is over, and it might never begin again, but I can’t forget love, I can’t forget Jenn.

Maybe that’s the only way.

Is when I’m completely alone. I can’t pretend that someone is out there thinking about me at 11 at night. Maybe I can fool myself in the day by talking to anyone willing to respond but not at night, not while I’m alone, not right now.

Oh, wait, does that actually happen in the single life?  I can’t remember.  It’s been a long time.  

I only smoke to increase pleasure, never to forget the pleasure I left when I left her.

Don’t worry about not knowing what you’re doing.  I don’t have a plan.  I’m not sure why you think I do.  I’ve never had an idea.  But, they say time heals all wounds.  It’s going to hurt: It does hurt.  Any maybe it will hurt for a long time to come while we live here and everything reminds us of each other.  I’m convinced of that.  

But, this is it.  Don’t take all the blame.  It takes two, and I know I’ve done my fair share of bad things.  I only want you to do one thing for me:  don’t go back, keep moving forward and live life.

I never saw it ending like this.  I mean, I don’t take all the blame, but it was my fault to a point.  I drove you to this. This… I can’t turn around from this.  It’s out of my control, and there’s no going back.  It would never be the same, but then again I guess it hasn’t been the same as of late.  I wish things could be different, overall.  But they can’t and they won’t.  I, uh, I’m just still in shock a little bit.